I got married this year and somewhere between dress fittings, vendor emails, and RSVPs, I started thinking about something I don't think gets talked about enough with brides.
Brides are told, "Don't stress. It's just one day."
But then, in the same breath, we are told this is supposed to be one of the most important days of our lives.
Make sure you get the dress you love.
Make sure you find the right venue.
Make sure you book the right photographer.
Make sure every detail is perfect.
Make sure your family is happy.
Make sure your guests have a good time.
Make sure you soak it all in because it goes by so fast.
And then, in the same breath, we are told, "But don't stress about it!"
How?
I felt this firsthand. Of course you're going to feel some stress.
You are planning a huge event. You're making decisions you've probably never had to make before. You're coordinating vendors, budgets, timelines, family opinions, guest lists, dresses, flowers, food, music, and approximately 3,000 tiny details you didn't even know existed until you got engaged. I didn't either, until I was the one living it instead of just photographing it from the outside.
And on top of all of that, you're being told this is the day.
The day everyone will be together.
The day you've dreamed about. The day you'll remember forever.
So yes, you're allowed to feel stressed.
You're allowed to feel anxious when something doesn't go according to plan. You're allowed to worry about whether everything is going to come together. You're allowed to have moments where you think, "There is no way I can possibly make all of this happen."
I had plenty of those moments myself.
The Difference Between Feeling Stress and Being Consumed By It
I actually think there is a big difference between feeling stress and being consumed by stress.
Wedding planning can come with a weird combination of emotions.
You can be stressed and excited.
You can be nervous and completely giddy.
You can be overwhelmed and incredibly motivated.
You can have a million things on your to-do list and still find yourself randomly smiling because you're getting married.
I lived in that exact combination for most of my engagement, stressed about a timeline one minute, completely overcome with joy the next.
That, to me, is normal.
The stress becomes a problem when it is the only thing you feel.
When you can't enjoy the engagement because you're constantly thinking about the next decision.
When every conversation about the wedding makes your stomach drop.
When you stop looking forward to the day because you're so focused on making sure every single thing goes perfectly.
When the planning starts taking more from you than it gives back.
That's when I think it's worth taking a step back.
Not because you shouldn't be stressed.
But because you deserve to feel more than stress.
You deserve to be excited.
You deserve to be giddy.
You deserve to look at your fiancé and think, "I cannot believe I get to marry you."
I remember thinking that more than once during my own planning process, usually in the middle of something stressful, which is exactly the point.
You deserve to enjoy the little moments that happen before the wedding day, too.
Because the goal shouldn't be to become the bride who never stresses.
The goal should be to become the bride who can feel the stress, acknowledge it, work through it, and then come back to the reason she is doing all of this in the first place.
The Bottom Line
You are allowed to care deeply about your wedding.
You are allowed to want things to go a certain way.
You are allowed to be nervous about such a huge moment.
And you are absolutely allowed to be stressed.
I was, and I'm on the other side of it now, able to say it didn't take away from how incredible the day actually was.
Just don't let anyone convince you that stress is the only emotion you're supposed to feel.
If you're in the middle of planning and feeling all of this right now, I see you. If you're looking for a photographer who understands that your wedding day doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful, just real, I'd love to talk.
Hi, I'm Kariann
Wife, photographer, creative, and self-proclaimed Dr Pepper addict. I'm someone who loves love in all its forms, quiet and loud and everything in between, and I've built an entire career around making sure the little things don't disappear. Since 2020, I've been capturing portraits, milestones, and love stories across the Southeast, and I'm so glad you're here.
